as you read this email i will be in monteverde, costa rica and heading soon to nosara. this is my third consecutive year traveling to costa rica to help facilitate a retreat in november.

each year i have my standard pre-trip anxiety and overwhelm - last thursday night i slept fitfully, up in the middle of the night realizing i hadn’t confirmed any dog or cat care yet and worrying that i somehow wouldn’t ever pull this off. sunday afternoon, as i tried to get myself to pack early, i found myself caught up in an excessively long internal negotiation of how many pairs of underwear i am allowed to pack for myself - that ended with a text to a friend to confirm my numbers. i am truly a woman who thrives on my standard rhythms and anything that shakes that up fills my body with a certain kind of tension.

anxiety aside, each year i also look forward to the trip. my expectations are that it will be beautiful and nourishing. what i have experienced is that my expectations have not just been met, but far exceeded.

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this retreat marks a certain time in the cycle of my year and so i have been reflecting on what the rest of this season may be like when i return. the time change has happened, the days are getting shorter as the sun sets earlier and earlier. when i return we will be fully in the season of spiraling inwards and towards the shortest day of the year where i live.

as i have reflected on this, i have been sitting with some questions for myself:

what do i want at this time of year?
what do i need at this time of year?
what supports me through this season?

i can feel, and i mean feel on all levels - the physical body and all the subtle bodies - my urge to turn inward. in many traditions this is the teaching, that as the light around us lessens, we tuck into ourselves to find our own internal light. in my inquiry around these questions so far i have found:

i want to take care. i tuck myself in to bed earlier. i am quieter out in the world. i am slower to respond to email and text. i want to dress in clothes that are softer. my notebook is out more often - i find myself mapping my ways with scribbled words that want to be there on the pages quietly, between me and god.

i also want to feel a little held. i have had the instinct to invite my women over for tea. i want an evening circle to look forward to, one where the lights are dim and the candles are lit. i want to sit by the fire with a loved one or two talking quietly about how our hearts are doing.

i wan things to be soft, and gentle, and very very authentic and real. i am circling in, it is mostly alone work, and i want the space to feel connection, to honor that we all cycle, to ask and hear answer to “are you circling in also? how is your journey?”

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i will continue reflecting on these questions during my time in costa rica and i have similar questions for you, that rest on my mind and my heart:

what do you believe can support you through this time?
what do you want for yourself?
what do you want for your loved ones?
what is needed at this time of year?

when i wonder all of this with you i feel my innate desire to connect with you as well. so i also ask:

how can i be of service? how can i be of service to you - or your loved ones - in the season of spiraling inwards?
what can i offer in the darkness leading to solstice and this season of the holidays?

i would love to hear from you if you have any response to these questions.

if you’re wanting to follow along my adventures in costa rica travel and the retreat, i'll be posting on instagramand facebook. you can also follow @lotuswei, @earthauraretreatsor #earthaura and #earthauraretreats

all love,
robin